


Javier and the Javichair

by JuliaTries101



Category: Original Work
Genre: Crack, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Help, Javier puns, Kind of smut, Mpreg, Not quite smut but very weird, Other, There is no plot just puns, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?, just puns, no really, what is the plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 15:58:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10700295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaTries101/pseuds/JuliaTries101
Summary: My friend Javier hates it when I make puns with his name so I went out of my way just to write this work ;)





	Javier and the Javichair

Javier just wanted to have a good time, but the universe did not javicare.  
As he sat outside in the cool javiair, playing his javisnare drums, he saw a javibear charging at him. He was so javiscared the he ran inside and immediately locked the door.  
The javibear was javiferal and rammed into the door, trying to get in.  
Luckily, for Javier, the door was made of a javirare material. It was impossible for the bear to get in. The javibear tried and tried again, but it soon realized that it would never get in and excepted it's javifailure.  
Javier listened closely with his javiears to make sure the javibear was gone before going in with his life.  
He looked down and thought "hmmmmm my legs have so much javihair on them, what could I use to remove it?"  
Javier searched his home until he found the perfect thing to remove all that javihair: the javinair!  
"Ah yes" he thought. " This is perfect"  
He javismeared the javicream all over his legs eagerly. He was so excited to finally be javihairless.   
After 5 minutes he could feel the javinair javisearing the javihair off his legs and decided that was enough time.  
Javier proceeded to wash all the javinair off in the shower. He was amazed at how all the javihair came off magically.   
When using the javinair, Javier had javiperpared himself for chemical burns, but was pleasantly surprised to find that he was not allergic to the javicream.  
Now that his legs were relieved of all that javihair, Javier decided he was prepared for the javichair.  
As he walked towards towards the javichair, the javiair felt cool on his javibare legs.  
"Hello my javichair", he whispered seductively. "I have finally prepared myself for you"  
He then impaled his javibare ass onto the javichair leg. Javier had a great time with the javichair until he javicreamed himself.  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 

 

A few day later Javier discovered he was javipregant with the javichair! He was so javiscared. Now he had to look for javihealthcare and javichildcare!  
Javier could not have anticipated that in just a few days, his baby with the javichair had fully developed! Javier was now going into labor. He was so javiscared!  
Panicked because he could not afford a taxi javifare.  
He then realised the his brother was a pilot. He could get to the hospital by javiairplane.  
One phonecall later and Javier was flying in the javiair towards the hospital.  
The javiairplane landed just a few yards from the entrance. Javier ran towards the hospital, but he made a fatal mistake  
He didn't look where he was going, and suddenly, his foot was caught in a javibear trap! Oh no! A javisnare!  
Just when he thought things couldn't get worse, he javiheard the javibear from before charging at him with his javiears.  
He should have been javiscared but at that moment he only javicared about one thing: his baby.  
With the javibear trap stuck to his leg, he ran inside the hospital to deliver his baby.  
When his baby was born Javier was so relieved, she came out perfect. Maybe the universe wasn't completely against him after all.  
He couldn't wait to come back home and show his baby to the javichair.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing at it's finest


End file.
